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Dictionary of My Life
We move in circles
Balanced all the while
On a gleaming razor's edge
A perfect sphere
Colliding with our fate
This story ends where it began
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PROFILE
Azwan - Takeshi
20th March 1992.
A 21-year old body with a mind far beyond comprehension.
History:
-Qifa Primary Sch
-Bukit View Secondary Sch
-Ngee Ann Polytechnic
-Specialist Cadet Sch 15/13
I'm a:
-Shinobi
-Anime Otaku
-Photographer
-Traceur
-Audio-visual Freelance
-Instrumentalist
-Artist
-Skater
-Biker
Things I love:
-Anime
-Photography
-Speed Biking
-Music
-Elsa (elec guit)
-Belle (acoustic guit)
-Dust (semi-acoustic guit)
-Skating (land/ice)
-Badminton / Tennis
-Drawing
-Parkour
-My cat
-Siti Nurhidayah Binte Osman <3
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I don't dare to kill even an ant.
p.s Kill animals and I'll hunt you down.
I may be quiet most of the time.
But if you're willing to talk, I may talk for kilometers. =P
Contacts:
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Youtube Channel |
Email
Facebook Profile:
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"A cat has absolute emotional honesty: human beings, for one reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not.” - Ernest Hemingway"
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Visits Today
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Well, lemme see...
...
Trip to West Coast Park, May 30 2010 @ 1750-1930h
Trip to West Coast Park, May 30 2010 @ 1750-1930h
*click on photos to enlarge
...
Na minna!
Haven't been revising lately.
And I guess there's still a lot to catch up on.
Let's just hope I don't fail any module.
Though I've never failed any module before.
This time, it's different.
I feel it.
The stress.
Damn.
Nerd mode starting today!
...
Na minna!
Haven't been revising lately.
And I guess there's still a lot to catch up on.
Let's just hope I don't fail any module.
Though I've never failed any module before.
This time, it's different.
I feel it.
The stress.
Damn.
Nerd mode starting today!
...
Anyways, just a brief update about my life on Earth so far:
Earth is like any other thing in the world.
The people, the behavior, the environment.
Not to mention the 90% of the inhabitants that I can't see now.
Family's been good.
Friend's been better.
Exam period's best (fuck).
Been slacking at home these past three days, since Vesak Day.
Bored to the max, as usual.
No one to go out with.
Some people are really lucky, to be able to ask a group of people out somewhere and enjoy their day.
Sadly to say, I'm not that type.
My friends can be counted.
It's really envious.
Well, I wanna try making friend with as many people in school as possible.
But it's difficult.
Imagine me going to some random person, and saying "hey, can we be friends?"
Dumbo.
Whatever la.
It's way past one, and I should be in bed soon.
Gonna change my blog skin and update my blog songs after the exams.
Look out!
Earth is like any other thing in the world.
The people, the behavior, the environment.
Not to mention the 90% of the inhabitants that I can't see now.
Family's been good.
Friend's been better.
Exam period's best (fuck).
Been slacking at home these past three days, since Vesak Day.
Bored to the max, as usual.
No one to go out with.
Some people are really lucky, to be able to ask a group of people out somewhere and enjoy their day.
Sadly to say, I'm not that type.
My friends can be counted.
It's really envious.
Well, I wanna try making friend with as many people in school as possible.
But it's difficult.
Imagine me going to some random person, and saying "hey, can we be friends?"
Dumbo.
Whatever la.
It's way past one, and I should be in bed soon.
Gonna change my blog skin and update my blog songs after the exams.
Look out!
...
Good night.
Good night.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Exams
...
My majestic little Luna
Hey balls!
Back for more shit!
Hah!
Well to start off, a thousand apologies for the late post.
Exams are around the corner of the corners.
So at least, I'm trying to make up for the integrity of studying for them.
"Yea right, as if"
So I'm trying to minimize my internet activity to as little as possible (little is still too much rather) and I'll update more again after the exams alright, perhaps in two weeks' time.
More photos promised!
Ja na!
...
Still searching for you
...
Az1
Friday, May 21, 2010
Really.
...
Hello.
Know what?
I think I look scary.
No wonder the seat beside me is always empty when I take the bus.
Imagine this.
For an hour of bus journey, all seats are filled.
Except the one beside mine.
For an hour.
Imagine the load of people wanting to find a seat in the bus.
And they stood up instead.
What does this show?
I look scary
=')
Hello.
Know what?
I think I look scary.
No wonder the seat beside me is always empty when I take the bus.
Imagine this.
For an hour of bus journey, all seats are filled.
Except the one beside mine.
For an hour.
Imagine the load of people wanting to find a seat in the bus.
And they stood up instead.
What does this show?
I look scary
=')
Az1
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Another one.
...
Another post.
Another post.
I.
Me.
It's all about myself.
I clearly see things ahead of me.
How I wish I can predict the coming future.
A frog leaps to it's desired destination.
Can I do exactly the same?
People's treasure.
Will I be someone's?
I hope for my life to be in the palm of my hand.
...
I'm such an idiot in Video Technology today.
I remember nuts about programming.
And guess what?
Everyone has a partner and I'm doing alone.
Smart Alex.
My friend requested if there could be three people in a group.
Lecturer said, the third person will be the 'sleeping' partner.
Which was me laa, I know, can don't bastard by using that term on me or not?
I have no choice.
I have to work it out somehow.
God, help me.
I remember nuts about programming.
And guess what?
Everyone has a partner and I'm doing alone.
Smart Alex.
My friend requested if there could be three people in a group.
Lecturer said, the third person will be the 'sleeping' partner.
Which was me laa, I know, can don't bastard by using that term on me or not?
I have no choice.
I have to work it out somehow.
God, help me.
...
Az1
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Meowmeowsxx
...
Na minna san!
A random post!
Sumimasen.
As you guys know, my Bro disappeared a month ago.
And suddenly came..
A female kitten!
Hahs!
Got her back a few days ago from the vet.
And nowshet's already got a boyfriend!
Looks like my neighbor's lonely cat's not gonna be lonely anymore.
=X
Na minna san!
A random post!
Sumimasen.
As you guys know, my Bro disappeared a month ago.
And suddenly came..
A female kitten!
Hahs!
Got her back a few days ago from the vet.
And nowshet's already got a boyfriend!
Looks like my neighbor's lonely cat's not gonna be lonely anymore.
=X
Oh well, just for info, my cat (Luna) is the brown American Shorthair/Serengeti.
Her boyfriend is a stray cat. White fur, quite big. Not sure of it's type. Cause it's hybrid.
Neighbor's cat is a female short-haired Tabby, with the bell thingy.
Hah!
That's my random post for tonight.
...
Tsukareta, ore wa. Ja mata na.
Oyasuminasai minna san.
Ichinichi owaru tabi
"Kyou mo anata no koto daisuki deshita."
To sotto mune ni omou...
Tsukareta, ore wa. Ja mata na.
Oyasuminasai minna san.
Ichinichi owaru tabi
"Kyou mo anata no koto daisuki deshita."
To sotto mune ni omou...
Az1
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
The days
...
Me-n-sis-fail-shot-on-MRT-glass
Hellos.
It's been another week.
Since I threw away my emo self.
And guess what?
It's an awesome time.
Life's great.
Once again.
...
Hellos.
It's been another week.
Since I threw away my emo self.
And guess what?
It's an awesome time.
Life's great.
Once again.
...
Well let me share my weekend with you guys.
Last Saturday, it rained.
Yea DUH!
So I didn't want to go out until it stopped raining at around six in the evening.
Went out with sis to Bugis, with the school's Nikon D80 + 18-135mm f/3.5-5.6 Nikkor lens.
Took some shots, then dinner at BK.
Ate the hot and spicy burger shit.
Not bad!
Then we walked past Illuma, the National Library, Supperclub, CHIJVES, Raffles City, the old court, then the Padang.
Then it was 2040h, and we walked all the way from City hall, past Clarke Quay, to Chinatown.
Met my bandmates at Anaki Records.
Then went home at 2215h.
It was tiring.
And guess what?
My hands suck to the point that half my pictures are blur.
I didn't use flash (natural lighting), and I set the camera to big aperture and 1/2-5 shutter speed.
It's a risk, but the outcome turned out to be not as bad.
Home sweet home, and slept after a few episodes of Bleach and One Piece.
The next day, a Sunday, IFORGOTWHATIDIDIHAVESTM.
Monday was super random. Lesson at 0800-0930h.
I got home and along the way I caught a hellish-painful migraine.
Not sure how or where I caught it though =P
So the whole day was quality time in bed. Yea right.
Last Saturday, it rained.
Yea DUH!
So I didn't want to go out until it stopped raining at around six in the evening.
Went out with sis to Bugis, with the school's Nikon D80 + 18-135mm f/3.5-5.6 Nikkor lens.
Took some shots, then dinner at BK.
Ate the hot and spicy burger shit.
Not bad!
Then we walked past Illuma, the National Library, Supperclub, CHIJVES, Raffles City, the old court, then the Padang.
Then it was 2040h, and we walked all the way from City hall, past Clarke Quay, to Chinatown.
Met my bandmates at Anaki Records.
Then went home at 2215h.
It was tiring.
And guess what?
My hands suck to the point that half my pictures are blur.
I didn't use flash (natural lighting), and I set the camera to big aperture and 1/2-5 shutter speed.
It's a risk, but the outcome turned out to be not as bad.
Home sweet home, and slept after a few episodes of Bleach and One Piece.
The next day, a Sunday, IFORGOTWHATIDIDIHAVESTM.
Monday was super random. Lesson at 0800-0930h.
I got home and along the way I caught a hellish-painful migraine.
Not sure how or where I caught it though =P
So the whole day was quality time in bed. Yea right.
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Changed
...
Have you ever thought of what blind people really see?
Have you ever thought of how disabled people wished they could do sports like us?
Have you ever thought of how every parent wants their children to be smart?
...
Have you ever thought of what blind people really see?
Have you ever thought of how disabled people wished they could do sports like us?
Have you ever thought of how every parent wants their children to be smart?
...
Life isn't fair?
Think to yourself, if you think life isn't fair, you're saying that God's bad.
I thought of all these.
For 2 days.
Before anything happens, I want to share some of the most memorable phenomenons that happened throughout my life ( I'll not be stating every single one) :
In pri school ( can't remember the time or date or place or status =P ), I helped a blind lady cross the road. I was happy. I looked scary, like a brat, yet she wasn't afraid of me. Cause she couldn't look at me. She felt my sheer warm presence in myself. She was extraordinary.
In sec sch, I helped a handicapped man to buy things in the shop, cause he was exhausted walking with only a leg. I kept thinking how people with only a leg hoped for so much to walk, while we, with two fit legs, become lazy people.
Last year, I was at Clementi, and a blind man needed my help to look out for his bus number 105. He chatted with me about how he was disappointed with the size of City Vibes. He told me he expected it to be slightly larger than Vivo City. I was fascinated. How can a blind person tell the size of a shopping mall?
I was waiting for class to start yesterday, so I went to have breakfast at Canteen 2. A very short girl walked past the carpark. It was a sickness, I'm not sure what it's called. She's half my height.
And I said to myself ' oh God, what was I thinking!? There are people out there who want to be tall like I do, and I'm still complaining about being the shortest guy in class? I realized, I'm a sinner.
Yesterday night, I was at Jurong Point with sis at 2230h. A Chinese man on a wheelchair called up to me. His right leg was amputated till above the knee. He said in Chinese ( Halo boy ar, ni ge yi pang wo ...blablabla... chi na pian toilet ge yi ma? ) Something like that. And so I pushed him like what seemed forever, while I chatted with my sis. When I reached the toilet for the handicapped, I helped him in, and he conveyed his gratitude by saying 'thank you' a lot of times. I thought of how people like these hold their bladder and pushed the wheelchair on their own, while we could just run to the toilet on our own two legs. I felt really sad. And I walked home instead of taking the bus.
...
In sec sch, I helped a handicapped man to buy things in the shop, cause he was exhausted walking with only a leg. I kept thinking how people with only a leg hoped for so much to walk, while we, with two fit legs, become lazy people.
Last year, I was at Clementi, and a blind man needed my help to look out for his bus number 105. He chatted with me about how he was disappointed with the size of City Vibes. He told me he expected it to be slightly larger than Vivo City. I was fascinated. How can a blind person tell the size of a shopping mall?
I was waiting for class to start yesterday, so I went to have breakfast at Canteen 2. A very short girl walked past the carpark. It was a sickness, I'm not sure what it's called. She's half my height.
And I said to myself ' oh God, what was I thinking!? There are people out there who want to be tall like I do, and I'm still complaining about being the shortest guy in class? I realized, I'm a sinner.
Yesterday night, I was at Jurong Point with sis at 2230h. A Chinese man on a wheelchair called up to me. His right leg was amputated till above the knee. He said in Chinese ( Halo boy ar, ni ge yi pang wo ...blablabla... chi na pian toilet ge yi ma? ) Something like that. And so I pushed him like what seemed forever, while I chatted with my sis. When I reached the toilet for the handicapped, I helped him in, and he conveyed his gratitude by saying 'thank you' a lot of times. I thought of how people like these hold their bladder and pushed the wheelchair on their own, while we could just run to the toilet on our own two legs. I felt really sad. And I walked home instead of taking the bus.
...
And here I am, complaining about every single thing I didnt like.
Here's what I think about myself:
I'm short. I'm only 168cm (5ft 1 inch) tall. In my wishlist, I wanted to be a nice 175cm. No one's attracted to short guys like me.
I am ugly. Look at my eyes. My nose. My mouth. I look like a girl. And my eyelashes are so long, girls are jealous of me. Hey girls, do you really think I want these long eyelashes? Take it if you can. I'm more than happy. I'll jump for joy.
My hair sucks. It's damaged. Frizzy. Always dry. And it's always too thick.
I'm dark. I hate my skin tone. I don't understand why those people around me want to stupidly tan their skin when it's in such a nice fair tone. It isn't fair. Here I want skin like them, and there they are at the beach, spoiling the beautiful skin. Stupid people. You don't appreciate what God gave you. Nice skin tone. And you are damaging it. Fuck you.
I'm poor. No one wants to go out with poor people. I cant even buy food sometimes. And they're easily throwing food when they're full.
I'm too mature. I think like an adult. Maybe because of all the experiences I've gone through since young. Even now, I'm all grown up, and it's hard to cry, even when my beloved granny passed away. But, thinking of my terrible past makes me shed tears, and I wished so much, that never would any other dear child suffer the same fate as me.
Here's what I think about myself:
I'm short. I'm only 168cm (5ft 1 inch) tall. In my wishlist, I wanted to be a nice 175cm. No one's attracted to short guys like me.
I am ugly. Look at my eyes. My nose. My mouth. I look like a girl. And my eyelashes are so long, girls are jealous of me. Hey girls, do you really think I want these long eyelashes? Take it if you can. I'm more than happy. I'll jump for joy.
My hair sucks. It's damaged. Frizzy. Always dry. And it's always too thick.
I'm dark. I hate my skin tone. I don't understand why those people around me want to stupidly tan their skin when it's in such a nice fair tone. It isn't fair. Here I want skin like them, and there they are at the beach, spoiling the beautiful skin. Stupid people. You don't appreciate what God gave you. Nice skin tone. And you are damaging it. Fuck you.
I'm poor. No one wants to go out with poor people. I cant even buy food sometimes. And they're easily throwing food when they're full.
I'm too mature. I think like an adult. Maybe because of all the experiences I've gone through since young. Even now, I'm all grown up, and it's hard to cry, even when my beloved granny passed away. But, thinking of my terrible past makes me shed tears, and I wished so much, that never would any other dear child suffer the same fate as me.
...
I thought for 2 days.
What was I thinking?
What have I done?
My eyes are ugly. Yes. Ugly eyes that see the beautiful world. Others have beautiful eyes that see nothing but black.
I'm short. I hate it. Others are half my height. And they don't complain.
I thought of being lazy. There are people who would want a set of legs to walk on.
I'm dark. There are darker people.
I realized, they're such extraordinary people, with strong hearts.
And, I'm just normal.
I'm a retard for thinking too much about myself.
I regret it.
So much.
Really.
I'm disappointed of my own brain.
How could I ever think of such negative thoughts?
What was I thinking?
What have I done?
My eyes are ugly. Yes. Ugly eyes that see the beautiful world. Others have beautiful eyes that see nothing but black.
I'm short. I hate it. Others are half my height. And they don't complain.
I thought of being lazy. There are people who would want a set of legs to walk on.
I'm dark. There are darker people.
I realized, they're such extraordinary people, with strong hearts.
And, I'm just normal.
I'm a retard for thinking too much about myself.
I regret it.
So much.
Really.
I'm disappointed of my own brain.
How could I ever think of such negative thoughts?
...
My point is, I want to change.
And I have.
And I need to promise myself to stay this way.
I will.
I must.
Wake up to a new me, people.
=)
My point is, I want to change.
And I have.
And I need to promise myself to stay this way.
I will.
I must.
Wake up to a new me, people.
=)
Az1
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